My days of sauntering around Chelsea’s bars and restaurants were over and my new reality was changing nappies and washing babygrows.

And while I felt love deeper than anything when I held my first child, India, in my arms, I know better than anyone that building a family can be messy and exhausting, especially when co-parenting and blended families are involved. 

I’m now in my third trimester with my third child after having India, five, in 2017. 

I co-parent her with my ex-partner Josh Patterson, and also have my second child, one-year-old Wolfie, with my husband, businessman Max Darnton. 

I’ve learnt there is no easy route to being a perfect mother or raising a perfect child. In fact, there’s no such thing as perfect.

But you can try hard to make it work in a way that allows your family to be as happy and healthy as possible. 

Here are some of the biggest lessons I have learnt as a mum, including when to say no to family and why sex is the key to being happy and fulfilled parents. 

GIVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY TIME LIMITS: I didn’t go through an identity crisis or get the post-baby blues after giving birth, but the weeks after having your first child can be daunting. 

As I grew as a first-time mum I learned it’s important to say no.

Say no to people popping over all the time, overstaying their welcome, demanding too much of you or expecting you to follow their advice. 

Those first few weeks are about bonding with your baby. 

Shut the door, switch off your phone, come off social media, yawn and ask people to leave. 

Allow good friends and family to visit but set a time limit. 

Warn them not to expect to be fed. It’s nice to have company sometimes, but you also have to protect your cocoon and your sleep quota. 

DON’T OVERTHINK IT: The first month of motherhood is nerve-racking. But be confident in your own abilities. 

If your baby is safe, try not to overly worry. I had friends worrying about the exact temperature of their baby’s milk then, because they were so particular, the baby would be programmed to scream if it didn’t arrive just as they expected. 

So be careful what routines you start, because you’ll have to keep them going. 

I didn’t have blackout blinds or a white noise sound machine because I didn’t want to get into the habit of me or her not being able to live without them when we travelled. 

WASH YOUR HAIR: You have to be in the right headspace to parent so you must look after your health. 

For me, especially with a tiny baby, that means having a shower, washing my hair, getting out into the fresh air, listening to music and finding joy in the little things. 

I go for long walks with my husband, pushing Wolfie in his stroller, which keeps us healthy and doubles as a date, because we talk nonstop as we walk. 

BEING A SINGLE MUM CAN BE A GIFT: I was scared of removing India from the stereotypical “both parents at home” life when I split with her dad, but I had to be strong and knew it would be best for all three of us in the long run. 

She was barely one year old, still my baby, so being away from her when it was Josh’s day to have her was horrific. 

Each time she’d go I’d cry, and cry and cry. The first time she knew she had to go off with him overnight, it felt like my heart was being torn out of my body. 

Four years on, it doesn’t get any easier. She’s older so I’m able to explain to her that Mummy always comes back, and Mummy is never going anywhere. 

I can’t lie, it’s hard raising a child without a partner around, but I still look at her and the time when it was just the two of us as the best gift ever. 

FAMILIES ARE MADE FROM LOVE NOT BLOOD: When Wolfie came along it cemented our feelings of family — a family made from love and hard work, not blood necessarily. 

One thing that crops up for blended siblings is the idea of favouritism. 

I would be very, very hot on that. Everything between both my children, regardless of DNA, has to be equal and fair. 

Max has known India since she was 18 months old and their bond is strong, different to his bond with Wolfie, but that is more down to their different genders than their genetics. 

A partner worthy of you needs to love you and your child. 

How a prospective stepparent treats your child in relation to his should be a test your partner needs to pass. 

Around 42 per cent of UK marriages now end in divorce, with children from those failed relationships entering new marriages with their parents. 

Blended families aren’t different, there should be no shame around having half-siblings or step-parents and no one should be made to feel lesser because of your new brand of family. 

MAKE NEW FRIENDS: Make mum friends wherever possible. 

Go online and sign up to message boards, classes and groups. 

And get out in the world to meet other mums. Your baby can be a great prop in making friends. 

Baby classes and even the school gates can be great places to bond with other parents. 

BUT KEEP YOUR OLD ONES: Friends you valued before you had a baby are important to remind you who you are, outside of the child. Make an effort to stay in touch. 

Sometimes I’m not in the mood to go out with friends but I know it will be good for me to dress up and do so and that I won’t regret it. 

Even when you’re in the daily grind of motherhood, reaching out and staying in touch with people who mean a lot to you is important. 

It’s not about grand gestures and gifts, it’s about being thoughtful. 

Check in on them, even if just by a text or voice message, a birthday card or social post tag. 

LISTEN TO EACH OTHER: My favourite thing to do on a night out is to dance, which makes me feel sexy. Max doesn’t dance but he likes to watch me. 

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My days of sauntering around Chelsea’s bars and restaurants were over and my new reality was changing nappies and washing babygrows.

And while I felt love deeper than anything when I held my first child, India, in my arms, I know better than anyone that building a family can be messy and exhausting, especially when co-parenting and blended families are involved. 

I’m now in my third trimester with my third child after having India, five, in 2017. 

I co-parent her with my ex-partner Josh Patterson, and also have my second child, one-year-old Wolfie, with my husband, businessman Max Darnton. 

I’ve learnt there is no easy route to being a perfect mother or raising a perfect child. In fact, there’s no such thing as perfect.

But you can try hard to make it work in a way that allows your family to be as happy and healthy as possible. 

Here are some of the biggest lessons I have learnt as a mum, including when to say no to family and why sex is the key to being happy and fulfilled parents. 

GIVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY TIME LIMITS: I didn’t go through an identity crisis or get the post-baby blues after giving birth, but the weeks after having your first child can be daunting. 

As I grew as a first-time mum I learned it’s important to say no.

Say no to people popping over all the time, overstaying their welcome, demanding too much of you or expecting you to follow their advice. 

Those first few weeks are about bonding with your baby. 

Shut the door, switch off your phone, come off social media, yawn and ask people to leave. 

Allow good friends and family to visit but set a time limit. 

Warn them not to expect to be fed. It’s nice to have company sometimes, but you also have to protect your cocoon and your sleep quota. 

DON’T OVERTHINK IT: The first month of motherhood is nerve-racking. But be confident in your own abilities. 

If your baby is safe, try not to overly worry. I had friends worrying about the exact temperature of their baby’s milk then, because they were so particular, the baby would be programmed to scream if it didn’t arrive just as they expected. 

So be careful what routines you start, because you’ll have to keep them going. 

I didn’t have blackout blinds or a white noise sound machine because I didn’t want to get into the habit of me or her not being able to live without them when we travelled. 

WASH YOUR HAIR: You have to be in the right headspace to parent so you must look after your health. 

For me, especially with a tiny baby, that means having a shower, washing my hair, getting out into the fresh air, listening to music and finding joy in the little things. 

I go for long walks with my husband, pushing Wolfie in his stroller, which keeps us healthy and doubles as a date, because we talk nonstop as we walk. 

BEING A SINGLE MUM CAN BE A GIFT: I was scared of removing India from the stereotypical “both parents at home” life when I split with her dad, but I had to be strong and knew it would be best for all three of us in the long run. 

She was barely one year old, still my baby, so being away from her when it was Josh’s day to have her was horrific. 

Each time she’d go I’d cry, and cry and cry. The first time she knew she had to go off with him overnight, it felt like my heart was being torn out of my body. 

Four years on, it doesn’t get any easier. She’s older so I’m able to explain to her that Mummy always comes back, and Mummy is never going anywhere. 

I can’t lie, it’s hard raising a child without a partner around, but I still look at her and the time when it was just the two of us as the best gift ever. 

FAMILIES ARE MADE FROM LOVE NOT BLOOD: When Wolfie came along it cemented our feelings of family — a family made from love and hard work, not blood necessarily. 

One thing that crops up for blended siblings is the idea of favouritism. 

I would be very, very hot on that. Everything between both my children, regardless of DNA, has to be equal and fair. 

Max has known India since she was 18 months old and their bond is strong, different to his bond with Wolfie, but that is more down to their different genders than their genetics. 

A partner worthy of you needs to love you and your child. 

How a prospective stepparent treats your child in relation to his should be a test your partner needs to pass. 

Around 42 per cent of UK marriages now end in divorce, with children from those failed relationships entering new marriages with their parents. 

Blended families aren’t different, there should be no shame around having half-siblings or step-parents and no one should be made to feel lesser because of your new brand of family. 

MAKE NEW FRIENDS: Make mum friends wherever possible. 

Go online and sign up to message boards, classes and groups. 

And get out in the world to meet other mums. Your baby can be a great prop in making friends. 

Baby classes and even the school gates can be great places to bond with other parents. 

BUT KEEP YOUR OLD ONES: Friends you valued before you had a baby are important to remind you who you are, outside of the child. Make an effort to stay in touch. 

Sometimes I’m not in the mood to go out with friends but I know it will be good for me to dress up and do so and that I won’t regret it. 

Even when you’re in the daily grind of motherhood, reaching out and staying in touch with people who mean a lot to you is important. 

It’s not about grand gestures and gifts, it’s about being thoughtful. 

Check in on them, even if just by a text or voice message, a birthday card or social post tag. 

LISTEN TO EACH OTHER: My favourite thing to do on a night out is to dance, which makes me feel sexy. Max doesn’t dance but he likes to watch me.